Ashihara Nakatsu

foochuck:

#Nashville about to go dark. (Taken with instagram)

——————————

hoshi-kagura: Found this picture searching the #Nashville tag and I felt it best represented my feelings of Nashville.

I’m a naturally reflective person, I feel as if reflecting on the past is necessary at times and simply looking at pictures of Nashville gives me the weirdest feeling. It’s hard to believe it’s been so long since I moved away from there, let alone visited. I remember there was always a lingering urge to see more than where I came from, feeling that I lacked and culture or interest from other places compared to everyone else. 

i truthfully have no idea what opinion to hold about it. all i can say is that it’s a cloud of indistinct and static ideas, rebounding off each other as if magnets of the same charge. good memories of home come to mind first and then there’s the suppressive air that surrounds its endless hills of trees. its hazy and clouded yellow street lights. it’s almost too familiar, as if being there is to be surrounded by all that i’ve already understood, like going back to a house that you’ve already moved out of, and lessons have already been learned. what does it mean to go back? to see what i’ve missed out on, to hold pride in he experiences that i’ve had and that i’ve somehow survived nashville, the haze that holds everyone within its bounds, and i’ve been to another culture and defied the odds that seemed to scare me before, and unsure that such curiosities have blossomed in others. 

i’m not to say that i’m above anyone else from nashville, because i try my hardest to be humble in all sincerity, but i’m glad to say i got out of a place that was no longer for me. it’s like being in a place that’s nice to look at, but nothing more can be gathered from it. i’m indisputably proud of my past. but it doesn’t mean i could have stood it if i stayed any longer. in retrospect i understand why i chose to leave, completely and utterly. quite simply… it’s hard to settle for less now because i have people that are so much better. and i am fortunate to have quality friends in nashville. but the truth is that there’s no more mystery to nashville besides what i find in my own memories. nashville is only alive to me in its past, in my mind, because it has no place in my future.